How To Nip A Guy 101

A colleague and I got talking (we tend to do that cos we cool like that. :)). 

A little background of this colleague: She is married and older than I. She could be my mother. She has style and swagger.  A young man might consider her for his 'cougar' (you never heard this from me. *sealed lips*).

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According to her, all men are capable of cheating and are cheating and though she has never made mention of it; that maybe her husband has cheated, has been cheating, and is cheating. She argues quite well (after all, she is a lawyer) that married Ghanaian men cheat on their wife. Okay, so to the point of this post. My colleague gives the following advice to women on how to keep their men coming back home even when they cheat (cos dey (men) be natural cheaters and all),

1. Ghanaian men love it when their women fawn over them.

2. After the man gets back from work, welcome him home gently and give him a massage.

3. Give your man a pedicure and massage his feet.

4. Don't press your opinion too firmly if he is in disagreement. Allow him to do whatever he wants and when it backfires, he will come back with his tail tacked between his legs (okay, so I added that bit of imagery)

5. Should he ever ask you to leave the home you have built together, be as stubborn as a mule and stay. (huh?, hmmm)

6. Do all these and more at carefully orchestrated periods and you are sure to get whatever you ask of 'your' man the next day.

So what say you, cos I need to nip me a fine male specimen, but I envision the following problems

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1. I am opinionated and waste no time making it known that something is impractical and ....

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2. I don't want a home where the man crosses his legs and watches me do all the romancing and planning of getaways and fun times, oh and let us not forget the cooking. the cleaning and washing (thank God for the washing machine; I require a washing machine), ironing, diaper change ....

3. I love me some strong arms on me too and a cuddle or two or three, oh, you get my drift

4. I hate manipulation; of myself and of others, in any form. I want the truth; plain, plain. :)

Looks like I have a long-ways to go or maybe I can keep dreaming that I will be loved and appreciated with all my niceties and fault-lines. :)

Side note: What the heck happened to the images of handsome guys on the internet cos I sure ain't finding none! Took me awhile before finally settling on this, even though I still have misgivings. :)

To Catch a Thief

When 25-year old Amina took it upon herself to remove items that did not belong to her from Sarbah Hall in University of Ghana in the middle of the night of 31st March 2011, little did she know what would be in store for her when students of the Hall lay hands on her.

What happens when students take it upon themselves to merit 'justice' on a thief?
What happens when physical abuse turns sexual?
Who takes or will accept the blame?
Who cares enough to condemn without justifying such an act?

Read Daixy's blog post on this issue. My heart goes out to you, Amina. You may be a thief but you did not deserve this. No one does.

Of Mad Men and Fear

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Standing at the bus-stop this morning impatiently waiting for a trotro to Tema Station, it was almost fifteen minutes after seven, and I was contemplating whether I should board a taxi ('dropping') like I had had to do for three continuous day, I heard this incessant stringing of words beside me, I slowly turned my head only to realise there was a 'mad' man standing close to me at the bus stop. I detest the fact that unkempt, plainly out-of-their-minds men who roam the streets of Accra incite feelings of fear from people they come in contact with and yet I could not stop the flare of fear that shot up in my heart as I saw this 'crazy' man. It didn't help that he seemed to be looking at me and speeching away with incoherent words and gestures. A lady standing in front of me quickly walked away and yours truly, the macho that she is, kept standing there, all the while thinking, "you try anything crazy, I will beat the *?@# out of you". What gives! Ah! It is my stupid, 'crazy' pride I tell you. One thing I love to say is I am not afraid of another human being. The man, albeit crazed, is a human being like me, so why should I run away from him?, though such 'crazy' people have been known to cause serious harm to people and seem to possess super-human strength when they get all crazy. Let me digress (ah, digress, always wanted to use that word. lol), this is not my first and sure will not be my last (if the 'mad' people are not taken off our streets to psyche hospitals), encounter with a 'mad' person.

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About six years ago, one 'mad' man touched my butt and I distinctly heard the word 'big'. I had turned to talk to a friend at a bus stop (these bus stops seem to be a magnet) near Gaza, a hostel at KNUST when my friend started running and as usual I, the cool cucumber that I am, did not ran after her. I just walked fast towards her, asking why she was running away. Then it happened. A second delay and I ran like lions were after me. Looks like I did not learn anything from that encounter. Yours truly, the 'foolish' Amazon, was not drawing herself away, again; she was spying the empty trotro which had made a U-turn and was about to halt at the bus stop for passengers to clamber  for seats. I 'gauged' the trotro's entrance and got myself a seat.(*sign of relief*). As the trotro was about to draw away from the stop, I noticed the 'mad' man, still speaking incoherently, standing close to the trotro's entrance. The trotro drove away with him standing at the bus stop and waving his hands.
I seriously need to get me some super-fast-reacting adrenaline hormones.

P.S. Man in insert is not really a 'mad' man. He is a hiplife artist known as Kwaw Kese, goes by the nickname Abodam, which means mad.

Dr Cryme

I don't know why he chose this name for himself, but i love this song. The rhythm in it gets me dancing every time. So enjoy this to uplift your boredom. It doesn't matter if you don't understand the words; the feeling is in the beat. Enjoy

What It Means To Call

"I will call you tonight/later/soon/".
Who hasn't heard these words or variations of them? and off you go with your head in the clouds, anticipating a call from the person who said these words to you.
You go about your business but ever so often picking up your phone, thinking you heard it ring, then again to check for any calls you did not hear or just maybe a message.
Logging in on facebook, skype and all email chats. You turn in late and fell asleep playing Sudoku on your phone.
You wake up the next day with the phone embedded under your shoulder blades, which are sore, and first thing you do is check to see if THAT call came. Oh, a message! (screaming in glee) You open the message only to realise it is coming from your network provider. Kwaseasem! Utter nonsense! Absolute rubbish! No I won't text nothing to nothing to increase my chances of winning that car that I have already paid for by purchasing your call card.
He just plain forgot. He signed in as invisible in cyberspace. He was so tired from work that he fall asleep immediately he got home. A tow truck knocked him down. Oh, it was deliberate. He did not leave up to his word.

My Friend's Boyfriend

Remember my first post about lips; guys' lips, make that guys' cute lips? Well, it so happens that years ago a good friend introduced me to her boyfriend, and I found him totally fascinating. I know, I know, that is all so wrong, but hey, repeat that again?

It didn't help that his high school and mine were unofficially or officially dubbed as partners; his' high school being an all boys' school and mine, an all girl's school. This introduction took place in our first year at university. Before you get your toes are tangled up in knots and get on your high horse, no, I did not act out the urge to entice him. I am a 'good' friend. It did put a strain on my friendship because I started having problems in my relationship; not that I told my friend about this urge to kiss her boyfriend, but because her relationship was doing relatively well and mine sucked.

Years later, my friend asked me why she felt this tension between us; I knew what she was talking about but I gave her the second reason for that tension; maybe I did not want her to see me in a bad light, I felt bad about it, but it was for the best; after all, I did not give in to the temptation. It turned out to be all well and good.

After years of being together, my friend is going to tie the knot with her beau. You may be wondering why I am posting this then? It is because I wonder what would have happened if I had acted out my fantasy; would things have turned out differently for them. What would have happened to me? I remember I kept my distance whenever he was around to visit my friend. I tried never to be left alone with him and it worked.

I have been taught a valuable lesson too; fire does burn even when you don't go near it. I felt the burning urge to wrong my friend, but I didn't, and I burnt with the guilt of that thought, and the fact that the desire was still there because I wanted to do it just for the thrill. The thrill of the fact that I may succeed and damn the consequences. I thought it through; I felt the hurt and remorse that would result from my actions and felt nothing about doing it, that was a shame. I didn't do it and thank God. Now, I see them and they are so happy and right for each other. God bless them and bless me too to find someone like him.

My friend may read this someday. She may or may not know this is about her, but if she does, I pray she doesn't bear me any grudge for this.

Not Eavesdropping oo

Conversation between two men sitting adjacent my table during lunch

A man in long-sleeved dark blue shirt atop grey pants with a wine-stripped tie walks up to another man, wearing a grey-stripped shirt sitting down at a table with his meal of rice and spinach stew, and says to him
"Why? You also dine here?", with a wide grin, smiling at the seated man.

Grey shirt (married): "Why? Is it forbidden for me to eat here?", looking unperturbed.

Blue shirt (unmarried): "I expected to see you with a basket larded with stuff"

Grey shirt (married): "You wait until you get married; then you will not be talking about baskets of food. Who should wake up at dawn to do all that"

Blue shirt (unmarried): "What has marriage got to do with it?"

Grey shirt (married): "I know where you are coming from. I use to think (thought) the same till I got married. Both of you will be thinking about how to beat the traffic that you will not even be thinking about food. I hardly see my wife in the morning. She is gone before I wake up and I see her in the evening. She is at the operations side and if you ask me right now where she is, I won't be able to tell you."

Blue shirt (unmarried): "That is why brothers are marrying teachers oo. They (meaning teachers) close at 2pm and there is vacation so they are home with the kids and there is no need for a house-help to influence the children"

Grey shirt (married): "GES (Ghana Education Service) hardly changes the syllabus, so there is little research to be done. There is no need to prepare 'new' things everytime. It is recycling; same thing they teach everytime."

Blue shirt (unmarried): "A friend said as for him he is going to look for a teacher to marry. We teased him about that and he said the teacher will have more time for the children. Nowadays, everyone is after the money. Who should stay home and look after kids. The teacher closes early"


I don't know where the conversation ended because I was done with my food and left. So what do you make out of this?