Remember my first post about lips; guys' lips, make that guys' cute lips? Well, it so happens that years ago a good friend introduced me to her boyfriend, and I found him totally fascinating. I know, I know, that is all so wrong, but hey, repeat that again?
It didn't help that his high school and mine were unofficially or officially dubbed as partners; his' high school being an all boys' school and mine, an all girl's school. This introduction took place in our first year at university. Before you get your toes are tangled up in knots and get on your high horse, no, I did not act out the urge to entice him. I am a 'good' friend. It did put a strain on my friendship because I started having problems in my relationship; not that I told my friend about this urge to kiss her boyfriend, but because her relationship was doing relatively well and mine sucked.
Years later, my friend asked me why she felt this tension between us; I knew what she was talking about but I gave her the second reason for that tension; maybe I did not want her to see me in a bad light, I felt bad about it, but it was for the best; after all, I did not give in to the temptation. It turned out to be all well and good.
After years of being together, my friend is going to tie the knot with her beau. You may be wondering why I am posting this then? It is because I wonder what would have happened if I had acted out my fantasy; would things have turned out differently for them. What would have happened to me? I remember I kept my distance whenever he was around to visit my friend. I tried never to be left alone with him and it worked.
I have been taught a valuable lesson too; fire does burn even when you don't go near it. I felt the burning urge to wrong my friend, but I didn't, and I burnt with the guilt of that thought, and the fact that the desire was still there because I wanted to do it just for the thrill. The thrill of the fact that I may succeed and damn the consequences. I thought it through; I felt the hurt and remorse that would result from my actions and felt nothing about doing it, that was a shame. I didn't do it and thank God. Now, I see them and they are so happy and right for each other. God bless them and bless me too to find someone like him.
My friend may read this someday. She may or may not know this is about her, but if she does, I pray she doesn't bear me any grudge for this.