Saturday, February 19, 2011

My Friend's Boyfriend

Remember my first post about lips; guys' lips, make that guys' cute lips? Well, it so happens that years ago a good friend introduced me to her boyfriend, and I found him totally fascinating. I know, I know, that is all so wrong, but hey, repeat that again?

It didn't help that his high school and mine were unofficially or officially dubbed as partners; his' high school being an all boys' school and mine, an all girl's school. This introduction took place in our first year at university. Before you get your toes are tangled up in knots and get on your high horse, no, I did not act out the urge to entice him. I am a 'good' friend. It did put a strain on my friendship because I started having problems in my relationship; not that I told my friend about this urge to kiss her boyfriend, but because her relationship was doing relatively well and mine sucked.

Years later, my friend asked me why she felt this tension between us; I knew what she was talking about but I gave her the second reason for that tension; maybe I did not want her to see me in a bad light, I felt bad about it, but it was for the best; after all, I did not give in to the temptation. It turned out to be all well and good.

After years of being together, my friend is going to tie the knot with her beau. You may be wondering why I am posting this then? It is because I wonder what would have happened if I had acted out my fantasy; would things have turned out differently for them. What would have happened to me? I remember I kept my distance whenever he was around to visit my friend. I tried never to be left alone with him and it worked.

I have been taught a valuable lesson too; fire does burn even when you don't go near it. I felt the burning urge to wrong my friend, but I didn't, and I burnt with the guilt of that thought, and the fact that the desire was still there because I wanted to do it just for the thrill. The thrill of the fact that I may succeed and damn the consequences. I thought it through; I felt the hurt and remorse that would result from my actions and felt nothing about doing it, that was a shame. I didn't do it and thank God. Now, I see them and they are so happy and right for each other. God bless them and bless me too to find someone like him.

My friend may read this someday. She may or may not know this is about her, but if she does, I pray she doesn't bear me any grudge for this.


  1. :o I'm thinking it's best she finds out from your mouth rather than the internet. Hopefully you've not provided so much info that she can figure it out.

    If she does figure it out, here's hoping she realises that you're happy for her and realise they're best for each other. All the other stuff doesn't matter. You did the best thing and looked out for your girl. (hug) You're probably the best friend she'll ever have, if you can ignore your feelings for hers.

  2. Daixy, the thing about blogging is i can be anonymous. :)
    So i guess she ain't gonna know about this post; she does not know about this blog.
    Maybe when they name their kid after me, i will consider 'confessing' face to face.
    :) I am not cowering, just don't want all the drama and suspicion that will accompany it all.
    Thanks for the hug

  3. interesting... i find myself caught in a similar situation. only thing is dude and my friend broke up (make it 2 0f my friends) now i think he's so cute, always have and we find ourselves,hanging out together, text chatting blah blah... mind u, i\m recently single too so we got a chance. but how do i tell two of my friends that i fancy ur ex, u know the one i always told u to break up with cos u deserve!!!!

  4. :)
    I totally understand; it doesn't help that you said he wasn't good enough for her. Is he bad enough for you? Just asking. Anyway, welcome to my blog.

  5. Thanx Abyss. totally luv Ur blog. hmm, now that i know him, i don't think he's that bad. on another level, i think i'm just on the rebound or i hope so. hmm, i just can't even allow myself to think of dating him. can't explain to my friends so i'm just going to admire and kill myself fantasizing about kissing him.